A Kindred Spirit in New Jersey

*All opinions in this post are my own and of my own recommendation. I did not receive nor am I currently receiving any benefit, monetary or otherwise, or free product in exchange for my recommendations in this post. This post does not contain affiliate links as I am not an affiliate with anyone at the time of posting this.**

Remember when we were kids, and the internet  was just making it’s way into most people’s homes, and our parent’s were scared about us running away to meet strangers on the internet?

I did a thing.

I actually took this just before I got off the plane when I landed at my first stop. Don’t judge. I had a small fiasco the first part of the flight. I’m thankful for waterproof make up!

I “ran away” and met one of my best friends whom I have talked to via text and phone calls almost daily for the last year or so.

Let’s back up a minute (well, a few months).

This past January, I visited (met in person for the first time ever) a dear sweet friend from Facebook. I had met a handful of other friends previous but what made this one different was I drove 10 hours up to Kansas to meet her. With me was another Facebook friend (we are all in a Christian Bible Study group together), her son, my 4 children AND our 3 dogs (you can find my road trip essentials HERE). At the end of this trip my friend, “Kansas”, inspired me by saying that this year she wanted to actually do what she says she will do, and reach out to meet others in our group. She wanted to embrace others and love others. She wanted to make connections and live fully knowing she reached out to her brothers and sisters in Christ. I knew I needed to do the same. I had spent too long without friends to connect with. I promised too many empty promises that were broken before they ever left my lips. I was unreliable. I needed more “just do it” in my vocabulary to match my “let’s do life together.”

So, when my friend, and fellow blogger at Lil’ Olive Tree, said her birthday was coming up, I really wanted to go spend her birthday with her. It was honestly the next logical step. We had been talking on the phone nearly daily for almost a year. See, we started in a Christian Bible study group together. Eventually that group split into another group that grew pretty close. Comments turned into direct messages and direct messages turned into texts and then texts turned into calls. I’m not sure who called who first. It doesn’t really matter anyway. I just remember that our phone calls were filled with deep concern, genuine care, loud laughs and a LOT of prayers. Do you know someone who actually stops and prays for you right when they say they will pray for you? I do! I now know two people who will stop mid conversation to lift you up in prayer. Lauren inspires me daily to be a better daughter of YHWH, a better sister, a better wife and a better mama. I wanted to do something for her the way she always does for others. Hubby agreed. I should definitely go out there. I mentioned it to her since I thought I should probably not just show up at her door, suitcase in hand.

She mentioned that John Crist would be performing nearby a few weeks before her birhtday, and so it was decided that I’d come then. PERFECT!!  He’s hilarious! After seeing this guy at Winter Jam 2018 with my local bestie and our teens for my oldest’s birthday, I couldn’t wait to share in the hilarity with my long distance bff! As soon as I booked tickets and sent her the screen shot, it was suddenly all so real. I finally get to meet Lauren!

Side note: if you do not know who he is, his Facebook link is here and you can watch a ton of his videos or you can find him on IG here.

 

Boarding on the plane to Philly, I felt much more comfortable on a plane next to the window.

So, I bought a hard case suitcase, packed my bags, and took off to New Jersey! My first trip to the east coast, my first trip to NJ, my first trip to meet Lauren, and my first “vacay” away from my babies and husband… There were a whole lotta firsts! The plane ride was rough, to be honest. You can find that post HERE . I couldn’t wait to get my feet on land. I walked out of the airport, and sat at a bench to wait impatiently.

“Hellloooooo Philly!”

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

‘What if she doesn’t like me?’ ‘What if her kids hate me?’ ‘What if her husband doesn’t like me??’

Who was the enemy kidding? They were going to love me, and I knew I already loved them! Meeting Lauren for the first time was like a breath of fresh air. She called when she was almost there. I saw her drive towards the pick up and I started walking towards her direction. She stopped the car, parked and stepped out. Y’all. I was finally going to meet her.

“Stay calm. Keep cool. Don’t freak out.”

‘ermagerd. ermagerd. ermagerd’

“Nope, calm down yo. Don’t freak out”

‘ermagerd’

“Yo, don’t-”

‘but she’s running’

“and now so are you.”

As soon as I saw her step out of her car, I could no longer pretend like I was cool, calm and collected. I squealed and I ran as fast as my jet-lagged chubby ankles could take me. I just couldn’t wait to wrap my arms around her neck. I turned around from the front seat to meet her girls and my heart melted when her sweet little boy said, “gack-ee! Plane!” Heart bursting and still squealing inside like a school girl, we took a picnic lunch to Fairmount Park to eat under the cherry blossoms. We had some time to kill since the airline sent my luggage to Chicago. It was gorgeous day and she made the BEST chicken salad (recipe blog post please!! ::wink wink::)

That night we had these fantastic AUTHENTIC Philly cheesesteak sandwiches for dinner from a local place called Nick’s Pizzaria. We went to church and AWANA, and then went back to her home. The next day we went to her girl’s homeschool co-op where I was able to volunteer and serve with her. I was so excited just to see her life! My life motto is, “Let’s do life together.” Since I don’t get to see her life on a daily or weekly basis, this was so awesome to see what her life was like.

Friday night we got to go see John Crist. It was just me, Lauren and my letter board. Squealing again (I have no idea who this squeally person even is or where she came out of) and skipping through the parking lot like little kids, we got through the doors and to a seat. The lights dimmed and out trotted John Crist. He was every bit as funny as I remembered. At intermission (well, I thought the show was over) I unsuccessfully tried to convince her to go find his bus. I was reeeeeeeally hoping for an autograph to add to my Building 429 and KB autograph “collection”. So, instead I went to the souvenir booth and bought a shirt and showed the employee my letter board. She laughed when I said I came from Texas to meet my bff and go this concert with her.

Then she called over his sister. Whose sister you ask? John Crist’s sister!

Y’all. I just about died. Then she said that after the show she would take us to  meet him.
I’m pretty sure I actually died.

Due some hiccups with my ultra lame LG phone, the pics that were taken were horrible. Luckily for us, the gal behind us and her mom took some and sent them to us. The best one they got was of me with my eyes closed. Y’all, we fan-girled. HARD.

Oh! And, we got our autographs:

Saturday, the day before I left, we took a day to ourselves, no kids, and went to Ocean City, NJ. First we bought gas (helllooooo full service gas stations! Where you been all my life?!) and then headed out. We caraoke’d (and by “we” I mean “she”). We car danced (I was back up). I operated my letterboard. If you are vacationing in the area with your children, I highly recommend going to the Boardwalk. Ocean City is a dry town, so it is incredibly family friendly.

First we ate lunch, next we both got reflexology foot massages at Still Water Stress Center (not an affiliate link) and then head over to the Boardwalk.  Let me tell you how AMAZING it felt to stand on the strange shore of a familiar ocean.

Deep in my heart, I’m still a California girl (born and raised) and I have not seen the ocean in 5 years. Smelling the salt filled air, feeling the slight ocean spray on my face carried by the wind, the sound of each wave fizzling as it crossed each grain of sand towards me. It was all so therapeutic to whisper to the ocean my worries and sadness I’ve held inside for too long. I collected some shells to bring home to my children, and made my way to the boardwalk to shop.

We stopped for delicious coffee at the Ocean City Coffee Company (I can do all things with Christ and coffee who strengthen me. It’s Scripture, y’all):

Then last we ate at Lauren’s favorite (and my now my favorite) pizza place on the Boardwalk. Now let me tell you about #TheBestPizzaOnTheBoardwalk!!

Prep’s Pizza wins this award hands down!!! This place is the best not only for their huge slices of pizza pie, but their customer service is unbeatable.

Waffle ice cream is soooooooo perfectly delectable ! I got the vanilla peanut butter ice cream with fudge topping, hold the jimmies (Jersey talk for sprinkles).

Oh! Have you heard of “water ice”?? It’s a thing and these Jersians are protective of their water ice! (Don’t you dare call it a “slushie” or a “soft serve sorbet.” Cue: maniacal laughter)

When we got home (well, her home) we got to sit with some wine and talk about our day with her husband. We sorted through some rockin’ planner stuff I brought for her made by Simple Stories and I showed her a bit how to use it. I reminisced over the previous few days that felt like a lifetime and only spoke briefly of the inevitable departure to happen in just a few hours. How was I supposed to leave when the bonds that were forged over this trip were so deep? I missed my babies and my husband and family back home, but now I had an anchor here in New Jersey too.

The next morning (as in a few hours later) I had an early flight home. I sat in my chair at the airport with Daniel Tiger singing in my head “some-times you feel two feelings at the same time, and that’s okaaaay”. I thought about her sweet little boy in my lap as we watched Daniel Tiger two nights before. How was I going to leave NJ and go home as if I wasn’t leaving behind a piece of my newly growing amazing family?

I know we should all be incredibly cautious when meeting people from online, and I urge you to seek wise counsel before embarking on a trip like this yourself, but she and her family feel like FAMILY to me. Sometimes, family consists of the people you CHOOSE to be in your life. Sometimes, you have to take chances and leaps. I’m not a risk taker, but this is an adventure I am so grateful I took. I have a bosom friend, a sister in Christ, an instant connection and an unbreakable bond. Her family has woven new, brightly colored threads in my life tapestry, and for this I am a better human.

When I landed, Texas comforted me with the widest, most gorgeous sapphire sky with cotton-like clouds! They were almost as comforting as my daughter’s arms around my neck and my husbands kisses on my lips.

My vacation was over. I couldn’t wait to snuggle all my babies and show them all the presents I had for them! Chattering like a chipmunk, I couldn’t wait to fill my husband in on all the excitement I had. My husband promised we would go back to visit next year as a whole family.

I. Can’t. Wait.

Until the next visit, I will talk to you tomorrow and tomorrow’s tomorrow, Lauren!

 

You have read my side, now check out Lauren’s side over at Lil’ Olive Tree!

Hey friends! Do you have a bosom buddy? Have you met a kindred spirit? How did you and your bosom buddy meet? Tell me your story in the comments!

 

 

Anxiety In The Air

My heart is racing. My palms are clammy. Beads of sweat are forming and starting to roll down my face. With my thumbs in my ears and fingers over my eyes, I lean forward and rest my head on the chair in front of me. All I want to do is get this over with.

See, in this moment I am sitting on a plane traveling to New Jersey to MEET my best friend whom I’ve never met. She’s a friend I made through Facebook and have known for a couple years and actively talking daily for the past year. This is my solo, sans kids and hubby, vacation.

“Get a grip, Jaci!! You can’t do this on a plane! You are in the isle seat, everyone can see you!”

My chest is tightening.

“No God, please!!  I beg you, not now!!”

My stomach is shrinking

“Do what Molly says. What does Molly say? Ok, um, three things I can see: I can’t. I can’t see. my eyes are closed. Just open them, it’s ok.”

I sit back and set my hands on my lap, and open my eyes.

“No no no no no no no!!!!” I lean forward again, resting my head back where it was. “Ok, I can’t open my eyes. What’s next? She says, name three things I can hear. ALL I CAN HEAR IS THE DEATH RUMBLE OF THIS STUPID PLANE’S ENGINES. I can’t smell anything but recycled air! Three things I can taste? All I can taste is the blood from chewing too hard on my lips and the coffee I had to chug before I got on this forsaken tin can!”

All I could do is sit forward, my fingers over my eyes and thumbs in my ears as I sat, embarrassed, crying uncontrollably and I couldn’t figure out why. Why am i crying? I am thirty-four years old. I’ve braved snakes in my chicken coop, scorpions in my bed, and a plane has crippled me into hyperventilation and hysterics.

“Deep breath in through the mouth, and exhale out your nose. Focus on your breathing, Jaci. Just breathe. Don’t count, just breathe”

“Excuse me? Are you ok?”

“Fantastic. Now you are making  a scene. You’re going to end up on someone’s Twitter feed. This is NOT how you wanted to go viral”

I separate my fingers so that I can see through them. I turn my head slowly to the left. Was he talking to me? There’s a gentleman with dark brown eyes looking at me. The creases in his slightly older than me face looked concerned. “Do you mind if I talk with you?” Before I could answer, he said, “It’s ok, I’m a therapist”

PRAISE GOD ABOVE!!

“uh, ok” I stutter. It was hard to focus. His voice was hard to hear over the Texas tornado-like sounds the engines made. Why did they have to be so loud?! Have we not invented a way to make the cabin of a plane QUIETER?

I don’t remember all that we talked about. I mostly just answered questions, but that was almost all I was able to do. I tried to explain that the last really big anxiety attack that I had, my friend Molly helped me through it. She told me to think  of three things I could see, and name them. Then three things I could hear, and name them. Then three things I could feel, three things I could smell and three things I could taste. But it wasn’t working this time. All I could hear was the plane, and I could barely uncover my eyes without bursting into another round of tears.

“What she was doing is called grounding. Close your eyes,” he said. “Think of the place where you feel the safest. Where do you feel safest?”

“Um… At home, I think”

“Where in your house do you feel the safest? The first place you think of, name it.”

“My room.”

“Ok, where in your room?”

“Laying in bed, snuggling my children, watching movies.”

“Now tell me three things you see.”
“Three things you feel.”
“Three things you smell.”
“Three things you hear.”
“Three things you taste.”

Patiently he grounded me.

My heart rate slowed, my breathing evened out, and I described the place where I feel safest. Home.

“Logic and emotion cannot exist in your head simultaneously. You will either be logical, or emotional. Anxiety is an emotion. If you are feeling anxious, you cannot also be logical.

“That makes so much sense!!” My brain lit up like a light bulb!

It wasn’t a magical cure. The ride to St. Louis was rough. There was turbulence and the pilot seemed to constantly need to change altitudes up, then down, then up, then down… I can’t even begin to tell you how scared I was.

I think the people around us heard my life story. I talked about my husband, our children, our move from California to Texas, how I was on my way to New Jersey to experience a abundance of firsts and how much I love homeschooling.

I learned so much from him that day. Beyond a new coping skill for the future, I learned how there are great humans out there. I learned how to lean on Abba God to fill my needs. Of all people to be across the isle from me, there was a therapist. He was a kind human who reached out and went above and beyond.

When have you felt the most anxious? How did you cope? What are the coping skills you find the most helpful? Let me know in the comments!

I won’t be shaken Psalm 16:8

 

Hi there. It’s me. Anxiety. Did you miss me?

I see you are pursuing things that bring you joy. I see you are listening to YHWH and following your desire to serve Him. Let’s see what I can do about that.”

Do you know who that is? That is the enemy. That is the Adversary.

If you have not had the unfortunate experience of anxiety, let me to try to describe it. It starts of with a small worry. Something that is important to you, but you are afraid to forget to do, or a call that needs to be made, or errands that need to be ran. Then you try to hang on to thinking about it, borderline obsessing over it, while you do other things. Making breakfast in the morning, “Remember to _____, Jaci.” Serving breakfast to your children, “Remember to _____ after this, Jaci.” As you walk through your day in a slight fog, focusing on this one (or ten) things that need to get done. During phone conversations with friends, family, and even while making your dental appointment, “Remember to ____, Jaci. Remember to say ‘remember’ and not ‘don’t forget’ because you remember what that lady speaker said that one time about saying ‘don’t’ so don’t forget!”

A few days pass and you suddenly remember!! Oh man! You forgot! How could you?? Oh man, they’re gonna be mad. So mad. It’s because you said, “don’t forget.”

Then there’s a grip inside your chest as though a billion microscopic hands are clenching around every cell in your heart and lungs and now you can’t breathe. Your stomach hasn’t stopped flopping since you realized your careless forgetfulness. Then the self doubt, the negative talk starts and you want to crawl out of your skin.

And (gasp) I (gasp) can’t (gasp) stop (gasp) crying. Hysterically. Not just a tearful sadness, but a whole face blubberfest of gut wrenching hysterics.

22Cast your burden on יהוה, And let Him sustain you- He never allows the righteous to be shaken.bheading

This is a little glimpse of what anxiety feels like. This is what I have fought for the last few weeks. I emotionally grab onto whatever friend will listen all the while I just want my husband home to hold me.

Today I forced myself outside for sunshine. I put together my raised bed garden and put the soil and dirt in it. I meditated and prayed as I spread my fingers and pushed my hands deep in the dirt feeling the earth in between my fingers and across the palms and back of my hands. I reflected on the first 2 weeks of the Fear & Anxiety study from Love God Greatly asking YHWH for strength to continue if He wanted me to. All my posts I scheduled for week 3 not only didn’t post, but they weren’t even saved. Not for my blog, not for my Facebook group. I thought about giving up. I thought about throwing in the towel and quietly disappearing into the shadows of this world wide web.

I logged into my blog to look at the dashboard and thought about deleting all of this.

“Nobody is reading this anyway, Jaci. You are failing!”

Then I clicked on the comments. I didn’t know there were comments waiting to be approved. The most current one was 23 days ago!

“Yes!!!! I needed this today. I’ve reread this a lot in the past two days. I’m going to print out and frame these scriptures. Nothing in the last 10 years has used my plan as a guideline, I break down more than I’d like to admit. But I know it’s because I fail to trust God fully all the time.” -Kat

Kat, I needed you today. This is the crumb of encouragement that I needed today. I am going to pick back up and retype out Week 3 and keep moving forward. I may struggle with anxiety, and the Adversary may know how to hit me the hardest, but my Father is much bigger and much stronger than any attack by the enemy. I can rest in my Abba. I don’t have to fight TO victory, I can fight FROM victory because I already know who wins in the end!

6

 

 

Fear Of Not Being In Control- Week 1 Day 5

FEAR & ANXIETY REF WK1D5.jpg

How many times, Mamas, do we frustratingly say, “If only things would go like I planned!”

Uhhh…. I don’t even want to admit how many times I say this in a day. When I’m cooking, when I’m scheduling my week each Sunday, when I’m budgeting each paycheck and adding up bills for the week, when we are elbows deep in schoolwork… The list is so endless! OH! How about this one: when we are trying to leave the house…

Did I just hear ya’ll groan aloud in agreement? Can I get an Amen?!

How many of those times that our plans failed that HIS plans came through in a huge way?

For the first time in almost a year I sat and budgeted last month. My husband just signed for his own truck and trying to be a supportive (and responsible) financier (self imposed title of course) I sat and budgeted. I added up the bills of each week to know what each paycheck needed to be at minimum to pay the bills on time. I felt amazing. I even typed it out on a spreadsheet and sent it to the hubby. I might have even popped my collar.

Wouldn’t you know it, the first paycheck on my rockin’ new plan was much smaller. We didn’t anticipate a few hiccups and I was stressed.

“If only it would go like I planned it!”

My stress level went from calm and cool to nuclear freak out immediately. I shut down. I wouldn’t even LOOK at the bills. I was loosing control and I was anxious.

WK01-05

It took a few days for me to look at our Bill & Budget notebook. I needed to do it. I needed to see which bills needed to be rearranged. I sat down with my pen and highlighter and opened the notebook. Wouldn’t you know, I had OVER budgeted. I counted a very large bill twice, once for today, once for next week also.

This meant that we were actually ok and not in the nuclear crisis I thought we were.

In the praise I cried out to the Lord, I also saw that I have so much more work to do in my walk. I have to let go of trying to be in control.

When our youngest son was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease, Juvenile Dermatomyositis or JDM, three years ago, it felt the rug had been ripped out from under me. I mean, I worked so hard to maintain optimum health! Organic and Non-GMO is vital to me. I watched the starches that I fed my children, veggies at every meal, hot cooked breakfasts most mornings, near zero processed sugar, low amounts of processed foods, grass-fed meats and dairy… How on earth did this happen? My mind was spinning and I couldn’t grab onto anything to steady myself.

I found my own ways to cope with the diagnosis, and the unknowns. No idea if he would respond to medications. No idea even if the disease went into remission if it would flare again. No idea if he’d even be able to play outside sports or any sports! Honestly, I wasn’t even 100% sure that he wouldn’t die.

Luke 12:22-26 TS2009
22 
And He said to His taught ones, “For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you shall eat; nor about the body, what you shall put on.
23 “The life is more than the food, and the body is more than the clothing.
24 Look at the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor granary, and Elohim feeds them. How much more valuable are you than the birds?”
25 “And which of you by worrying is able to add one cubit to his life’s span?
26 If then you are unable to do the least, why do you worry about the rest?”
All this worrying does nothing, though, except steal my joy from today and show our Father I am not trusting Him.
OUCH! Who wants to be that person who isn’t trusting the Lord? Not me!
John 16:31-33 TS2009
31 יהושע answered them, “Do you now believe?
32 “See, an hour is coming, and has now come, that you are scattered, each to his own, and leave Me alone. Yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.
33 “These words I have spoken to you, that in Me you might have peace. In the world you have pressure, but take courage, I have overcome the world.”
It doesn’t matter, in the end. None of these worries matter, There is nothing new under the sun that He has not already seen and will see. Yeshua says above in John that we have peace in Him, and He has already overcome the world!

Scripture: Luke 12:22 TS2009

And He said to His taught ones, “For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you shall eat; nor about the body, what you shall put on.
Observation: We are told to not worry about life, what we will eat or about the our bodies.
Application: Yeshua has already overcome this world. Our Father in Heaven already has plans for us for His glory and good. This too shall pass. All things, good and bad, shall pass. When in abundance, it will pass. When in drought, it will pass.
Prayer: Father, each day through this study I am absolutely amazed when another layer of your Word is peeled away and exposed to me. When another layer of scales falls from my eyes and I see what You want me to see. I pray and ask you to please continue revealing on my Brothers’ and Sisters’ hearts who YOU are. Show them that you have always “got” them.
In Yeshua’s name I pray,
Amen
Have a question.jpg

 

Fear of Loneliness- Week 1 Day 4

FEAR & ANXIETY REF WK1D4

Oh, ladies… The “L” word that instantly brings on thoughts of turning my lights off, curling up in bed and binge watching the entire first season of “This Is Us”. I struggle so hard with loneliness.

My amazing husband is a long haul truck driver. He is out driving all 48 states workin’ his tail off to provide for us. This means, he is only home about once a month for a few days, and then off he goes again. Our home is full with four big-hearted children, but I still feel so alone. When my friend’s husbands are coming home from work and kissing their brides hello; when Daddies are scooping up and hugging on children after a long day, I am still in the grind. Prepping and cooking dinner, wiping faces, gathering dishes to go in the sink, and whisking children into the bath or shower (let’s be real, sometimes the bath/shower whisking is skipped). Then there’s brushing hair, flossing and brushing teeth, taking nighttime supplements and painting MI Paste on little teeth for strengthening. This usually happens, honestly, pretty late since I try hard to take a little “Decompression Time” between dinner and the above chaos. Bedtime kisses and hugs and tuck-ins and stories are well beyond what I’d like to admit is bed time. My heart beams when I see them snuggle together and fall asleep. When I’m finally ready for bed I do my own version of above and then… Sigh…

Alone.

We call and say goodnight to each other, but it’s not the same.

When I go to the store and it’s raining, and I see a dear husband pulling up to the curb to his wife who has a cart full of bagged groceries so that she doesn’t have to walk in the rain.

The rain reminds me I am alone. A happily married… Single mom.

It wears me down, after a while. I start to feel afraid.

“What if something bad happens to him while he’s away?” “What if something bad happens to me or our children while he’s away?”

WK01-04

 

Scripture: “Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not look around, for I am your Elohim. I shall fortify you, I shall also help you, I shall also uphold you with the right hand of My righteousness.” Isaiah 41:10 TS2009

Observation: DO. NOT. FEAR. So bold, you can’t miss it.  “Do not look around” “I am your Elohim” What isn’t there to be in awe about this? I am not alone! I am not alone!

“I. AM. NOT. ALONE!” My Elohim is here by me and with me. I don’t even need to look around! He will hold me up (“inaccessible” from yesterday?!) Praise YHWH!!! I am HIS!

Prayer: Father, as I sit here today, figuring this all out with you beside me, I pray for those who may read this. I pray for them to feel you the way you want us to be near you. I pray that we see your Scripture and memorize it so that when the Adversary comes to whisper lies in our ears, we will be strong to rebuke him and hold onto you. When we feel unsteady, we will not allow the Adversary to convince us we are anything less than your beloved. Thank you for your promises. Thank you for promising to never leave us. Thank you that we don’t even have to look for you, because you are already here, our God!
In Yeshua’s name,
Amen

How does this make you feel? Seeing our Father say that we don’t even have to look around for Him for He is our Elohim? What do you find yourself fearing?

With love and care,
The Domestic Mombie

Fear of Man- Week 1 Day 3

FEAR & ANXIETY REF WK1D3.jpg

After I birthed our youngest daughter, I was overwhelmed and felt lonely. I was half-way across the country from where I was born and raised, trying to homeschool our children and now there is a itty babe in my arms and I just felt alone. I reached out so many times in different local Facebook groups, but canceled plans to gather at the last minute. I was so AFRAID of their faces. The judgemental look on their faces when they saw I didn’t have as nice of clothes as they did. The look of polite curiosity when they saw the dents and dings on my car. The look of confusion as they try to understand my incredible discomfort as I mumble incoherent sentences. Wait… Am I talking about me now? Or then? I have been so fearful of other humans. I have been roped into secret comparisons between their lives and mine, coveting what my neighbor has (bigger and more beautiful house/car, well put together children). The enemy had convinced me to be fearful of people.

Why?

Listen to Me, you who know righteousness, a people in whose heart is My Torah: do not fear the reproach of men, nor be afraid of their revilings.” Isaiah 51:7 TS2009

“…people in whose heart is My Torah”

“Do not fear”

“Do not be afraid”

As often as people told me, during the height of the postpartum depression I had, to “lean on God” “I’ll pray for you” I just couldn’t see how to do that. You know what I needed? Fellowship. Sisterhood with my Sisters. I needed someone to walk beside me through that darkness. But I was so afraid.

When I was trying so hard to face the anxiety and build an e-commerce business, I failed. Actually, I was succeeding, but I still failed in the end because I was afraid to step into the spotlight. I was so anxious.

WK01-03.jpg

Scripture: “The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in יהוה is set on high.”
Proverbs 29:25 TS2009

Observation: Snare= Strongs number H4170 :”מוֹקֵשׁ” meaning: trapped, ensnared; metaphor “cause of injury”

The fear of man traps, ensnares, causes injury to us, but whoever trusts in יהוה  is “שָׂגַב”.
What is “שָׂגַב”? It’s not just set high, or apart. It means to be strong, safe, inaccessible!

When we trust in our Father in Heaven, we are inaccessible and safe!

Application: If I would just let go of myself and fully trust in our Father, I would be inaccessible! If I would just study His Word and hold His Word in my heart, He would keep me safe.

Prayer: Father, thank you for showing me through this study all that you say. Forgive me my sins of self worship and doubting you. I have seen time and time again that you know what you are doing with your plans for me, yet I continue to take my anxiety back from you and try things my way. I know better, yet I keep trying anyway. I’m so sorry. Change me, create a new heart in me so that I can be a lighthouse beaming with the light of You inside of me. I am asking you for your strength in me to do your will in the face of judgement by my peers. My desire is to please you, Father, not man.

In Yeshua’s name,

Amen.

With love,
The Domestic Mombie

 

 

Fear of Disaster- Week 1 Day 2


What does our Father, Yahweh, say about fearing disaster?
 What does His son, Yahshua, say about being shaken?

Read: Proverbs 3:25-26 TS2009
25Do not be afraid of sudden dread, Nor of the ruin of the wrong when it comes;
26For יהוה is at your side, And He shall guard your foot from being caught.

Luke 6:46-49 TS2009
46“But why do you call Me ‘Master, Master,’ and do not do what I say? ((See also Mat. 7:24-28; Luke 8:21; John 3:36; James 2:17-24))
47“Everyone who is coming to Me, and is hearing My words and is doing them, I shall show you whom he is like:
48“He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock. And when a flood came, the stream burst against that house, but was unable to shake it, for it was founded on the rock.
49But the one hearing and not doing, is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream burst, and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.

 

Scripture: Proverbs 1:33 NASB
“But he who listens to me shall live securely
And will be at ease from the dread of evil.”

Proverbs 1:33 TS2009
“But whoever listens to me dwells safely, And is at ease from the dread of evil.”

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Observation: Proverbs is probably my favorite and least favorite book. I love the wisdom it gives but sometimes Proverbs really steps on my toes and it kinda hurts. I can’t say I’ve ever paid attention to this verse, but it’s so beautiful and promising. We who *listen* are SAFE not just from evil but the DREAD of evil.

Application: I can fully give myself permission to listen and obey what our Father says and in this permission I can actually be at ease from the dread of evil! I don’t have to hold onto the anxiety, but I can actually just listen to Him and by listening to Him I am promised I can be at ease. Listening to Him and obeying Him is more than just praying a prayer and going on with my life. It’s guarding His Word in my heart. Meditating on it. Intentionally living for HIM and denying my flesh. HE is my foundation. HE is the rock I lean against to rest so that He may bear the weight of my worries!

Prayer: Father, thank you for this opportunity to study Your Word. I pray that you reveal your promises to all of us reading and give us all comfort and courage to let our fears and anxieties go so that we can fully hear you and LISTEN to YOU. Yesterday we saw that you have plans, good plans, for us. Give us peace as we let go of the fears and relinquish them to you. In Yeshua’s name, Amen.

Remember this week’s memory verse!

“Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not look around, for I am your Elohim. I shall fortify you, I shall also help you, I shall also uphold you with the right hand of My righteousness.’” Isaiah 41:10 TS2009
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WEEK 1 Challenge: Answer in the comment section!

  • Make a list of all the things that you fear about the future, whether that is tomorrow or 20 years from now.
  • What truths about God are you struggling to believe in those fears? Ask the Lord to strengthen your faith in those areas.

Overcoming Fear & Anxiety,
The Domestic Mombie

Fear of the Future- Week 1 Day 1

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Scripture: Jeremiah 29:11 NASB
‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’

Jeremiah 29:11 TS2009
For I know the plans I am planning for you,’ declares יהוה, ‘plans of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and an expectancy.

Observation: Our Father in Heaven, Creator of ev-ver-ry-thing on Earth, KNOWS not only my life, but He has plans?? For me?? No way! Every emotion, choice and consequence I face, He already knows! 

“In the book of Jeremiah, the people of God had been captured by King Nebuchadnezzar and taken into captivity to Babylon. In their eyes, their future looked bleak and scary. They had no idea if they would ever get to go back home or what would happen to them while they were in Babylon. Would families be split up? Would they be abused and tortured? Would they be slaves?” –LGG

This letter was written by Jeremiah to his people to give them hope that our Father already has a plan when we are facing an uncertain future. We  have this to give us hope when we are facing uncertain changes, choices, and decisions that we have no idea what the outcome may be.

Application: Over four years ago my husband and I were in a tight spot. His work had downsized and we had nothing saved. I had a part time job, but it was certainly not enough to cover our rent, let alone anything else. He applied to job after job and it seemed like God was just slamming the doors in our faces. My boss told me about promotion opportunities that could really help us stay afloat! YES! The break I needed! However, it was in Texas and we were in California. Over the following several weeks I was on my knees, literally and figuratively, begging for answers and direction. I had zero idea how we were even going to pay our next bill that came in the mail. I applied for the job, prayed hard and tearfully, and by God’s love and HIS plans I got the job and we relocated within 30 days. Our Father planned everything. It was hard to miss the perfectly placed puzzle pieces and give Him all the glory and gratitude He deserved. I could feel Him every step of the way. This child-like trust is what I am missing from my life now.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, Creator of Earth and Heaven, thank you so much for never leaving me. Thank you so much for knowing me and making plans for me. Thank you so much for loving me so and having a mission laid out for me. I am praying and asking you, Father, to place in my heart your desire. Place in my heart peace and confidence to know and remember that you have plans for me and those plans are for good ,  hope and your glory and you do not at all plan for my destruction. Please continue to show me Your way so that I may please you.
In Yeshua’s name,
Amen.

This week’s memory verse: Isaiah 41:10! I’m writing this gem on Post-It’s and sticking them on my bathroom mirror, above the stove, on my steering wheel and over the TV.

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WEEK 1 Challenge: Answer in the comment section!

  • Make a list of all the things that you fear about the future, whether that is tomorrow or 20 years from now.
  • What truths about God are you struggling to believe in those fears? Ask the Lord to strengthen your faith in those areas.

 

Conquering Anxiety,
The Domestic Mombie

Fear & Anxiety: A Bible Study Jumpoff

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Next Week, on February 26 I am starting a new Bible study. This is a 6 week study from Loving God Greatly on Fear and Anxiety.

“Make no mistake; fear is all around us. But that doesn’t mean we have to cower to it any longer. Fear is a bully, and it’s time we put it in its place! Fear is not allowed to have power over our lives any longer.

In this six-week study, we will dig into God’s Word, from the Old Testament to the New, and discover what God says about fear and anxiety. We’ll learn how we can combat it through the power of His Word. No longer will we be slaves to our fears.”

You can order the study book, print the free pdf, or journal along in your own notebook. They use the SOAP method to study: Scripture, Observation, Application and Prayer.

Links to both the printable as well as to order the books can be found here:
https://lovegodgreatly.com/lgg/fear-anxiety-bible-study/

There is also the Fear & Anxiety Kids companion book. “Fear & Anxiety… for Kids offers God’s Word to the next generation of believers in practical and interactive ways that are sure to engage children in a deeper understanding of who God is and His story for their lives. Following a simple 6-week Bible reading plan, Scripture will come alive to your child with the help of spacious journaling pages, fun memory verse coloring pages, and an area to draw and record personal items of prayer and praise.”

Link to bookmark:

https://lovegodgreatly.com/lets-get-ready-fear-anxiety/

This study will use the SOAP method for studying Scripture. This stands for Scripture, Observation, Application and Prayer.

  • Scripture: we will physically write out the verse.
  • Observation: we will write what we see in the verses we are reading, who the intended audience was/is, and what words stand out most.
  • Application: what is our Father saying to me? How do I apply what I just read?
  • Prayer: writing prayers helps with praying intentionally and seeing revelations from Him in my life.

Want to follow along with me? Subscribe to get the blog posts daily from Love God Greatly!

I can’t wait!

The Domestic Mombie

Struggling With Fear & Anxiety

How many of you out there struggle with fear and anxiety? Anxiety is the most common form of mental health problems, yet all of us who struggle through it feels like “I’m the only one” and “nobody understands this.” Yet in Ecclesiastes we see Yahweh tell us that there is nothing new under the sun! 

So, why do we feel so… alone?

According to Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), “Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year.” This should give me comfort to see that I’m not alone.

So, why do I feel like no one understands?

While I was pregnant with my youngest, I had the most severe anxiety and depression I have ever experienced. I was scared to even try to talk or open up to anyone for fear that I would be judged severely. Pregnancy anxiety and depression turned into post-partum anxiety and depression. I was in a completely new state, with almost zero friends, my husband started a new career path as a truck driver, I had lost my job due to the company filing bankruptcy and we had just moved houses. Twice. Within seven months.

PHEW!

So, why do I feel so alone_ (1)

That was three years ago. I still don’t feel completely “normal,” but I also am not in the same place I was then. Navigating through self doubt is impossible alone. We all need someone, and that someone is God. The holy, unwavering, love never ending, God. I could not have navigated through my worst days without Him. Standing in my kitchen hyperventilating, heart racing, on the edge of the cliff knowing that stepping over the edge undoubtedly will end with me screaming at my children and me locking myself in my bathroom. I am so grateful that He forgives me through repentance. Deep repentance. True repentance.

The ladies at Loving God Greatly are starting a Bible study on Fear & Anxiety. Through 6 weeks I am going to navigate through what our Father says in His Word about Fear and Anxiety starting February 26.

What better way to launch this new blogging adventure than to face Fear & Anxiety and with His strength in me, conquer?

In His Perfect Love,

The Domestic Mombie